About Me

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Known to most as GOK or Bella, I am a half-Venetian, half-British knitter, stitcher, dyer, grower, aesthete, historian, grammar-fascist, culinary goddess, gamer and uber-geek - working in the UK making fine bespoke corsetry and theatrical costume... with occasional forays into making videogames too! Constantly homesick for Venezia.

Monday, 31 May 2010

And the bile goes on...

Been up to Holdenby today and feel recharged (apart from the aching back). It was much needed as I've now had half a dozen hate mails in response to my blog... all of them friends of my 'chum' who originally sent that piece of bile yesterday.

I've been called stupid, ignorant, a bitch and a c**t. Oh, and a filthy foreigner who deserves far worse than email abuse. This last comment was based purely on my name, which is bizarre because I'm guessing that since my maternal family came over with the Conquest, that makes me pretty much British....OK, half British - my father was Venetian! But that's hardly the point!

My goodness, I don't know - these foreigners, they come over here, boff our women, take our jobs, become productive members of society. Whatever next? Running for Parliament?!

I'm laughing about it now but it's actually been very upsetting. What grieves me the most however, is that my friend who sent the original email has seen this vitriol (because obviously it means so much more if you hit the 'reply all' button, so everyone can see how many words you can remember from the toilet wall), yet she hasn't even had the decency to say anything other than; 


"Oh, I meant to send you the email about giving a pill to a cat". Not even a "Sorry you're having to deal with this crap".

So it's OK to send everyone else the offending email? And it's OK to sit by and watch someone you call a friend, someone who helped you through your deepest, darkest suicidal period (her suicidal period, not mine, I hasten to add! I don't do self-destruction...I play video games instead!)...it's OK to sit by and watch your other 'friends' send such abuse to them?

And you won't even say, "Nicole, I'm sorry for what they are saying to you"... let alone defend me??

I would walk through fire for my friends....but then I know that my friends would do that for me too. Well, all except one, it seems.

To say I am deeply shocked that anyone I considered a friend would even think about sending that email is an understatement. I'm actually not sure how I feel about her any more. I don't actually want to be friends with someone who considers the victimisation of others a viable proposition. And I certainly do not want to be friends with someone who does not even have the decency to either admit they made a mistake, or stand up for something they believe in, even if it might be controversial.

I don't expect my friends to hold the same opinions as me. I don't expect them to agree with everything I say. I do expect them to respect me and my right to speak out against something I believe to be wrong, even if they don't share that belief. Just like I do with them. I also expect honesty from my friends - not looking the other way and pretending nothing is happening.

Perhaps I expect too much.

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